Life Part – 2

Some people don’t understand the meaning of why such a feeling arises within them, when  they really are not expecting it? Why do the have to suppress it, irrespective of what it says and what it means, why? 

This state of dilemma slowly, gradually starts creating a void within them in which their happiness is lost and all they are left with is an empty silence which ultimately embrace the individual. It is just like a facade of a palace which looks beautiful under the shining sun but  turns eerily in a horror site on dark nights. 

So to know what it means and to learn from it, we all need to understand our life and convey her the meaning of being you with her. 

Copyright © Vishal Raut 

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LIFE – Part 1

Life will pass by and so will my existence on this earth. But some questions will be there always.

Have I lived my life?

Have I completed the journey?

Have I achieved my purpose here?

Have all my desires and dreams fulfilled here?

Existing as a small speck in this world, will I someday witness the glory of my life?

Will I witness my destiny one day?
Copyright ©VISHAL RAUT

His New Identity 

It was very fine for me, dad not talking with me, still fuming with rage because of my recent confrontation,  mother busy in her daily morning chores completely unaware of our presence. This has been normal for us recently. We lived under one roof and shared many good memories here till now, but situation has changed us all, for good I hope. Now we three of us have created our own dimension in our home and are dwelling in it without disturbing each other. A three dimensions of three individuals in a three dimensional home of ours

Excitement, passion for life and hunger for success are my father’s proud qualities. Calm, gentle and caring are features of my mother which obviously are or most of mothers in this world. I on the contrary never possessed any of this. Love, yes I had immense for them, but compassion and care was absent. Respect was there but thick void space existed between me and them.

No it was not their upbringing to blame for my situations nor did they ever mistreated or abused me. They are ideal parents, who always gave me and my requirements priority. It was me who was failing them, I was not like them at all. Not even a speck of mine represented an ounce of them. They realized this very late but I knew it much earlier.

I hided it from them as long as I can, I even tried to change or rather go against the nature to be as per their expectations, but I failed miserably every time.

My truth dawned on me gradually and I confessed it to them after lot of persuasion by my heart to me, and from that day onwards till today it has been very difficult for them to accept me as I am. Efforts from them are there, they know they can’t abandon me or I think love for me is upholding them from not giving up.

Love which have bounded three diverse people like us together and has strengthen us for so long will be required now abundantly. It has to make my mother understand that her son is not normal, but still it is her son who loves her and asks nothing but love in return. It has to weaken my  father’s pride and ego  and strengthen his heart to expect me as I am, because I am not the son he wanted but maybe I am better in other ways. My love for him is unconditional and so must be his love for me.

Yes my parents, I am a gay and this is what I can’t hide nor lie to you. Life, yes I love you a lot and would like to spend with you both. 

Some reality of our society scripted by me. PURE FICTIONAL. Do comment your opinions. 

VISHAL RAUT 

Image – Google 

Moments 

What is waiting ahead of this moment, I am pondering.

What I have in this moment, I am wondering.

Moments pass, every moment, when I think.

Moments pass,  every moment, when I worry.
What I have? what will I have? when will I have? how will I have?

So much I think  in this tiny moments.

Made me loose my all opportunities in this tiny moments.

Made me loose my all relations in this tiny moments. 
All sum up to none, but a lost moment

All end up with nothing, but a lost present. 

So why should I waste this moment, 

When I can have  everything or loose nothing in this moment. 
Copyright © Vishal Raut

Pieces of Me 

Pieces of me, which shattered last night,

Scattered now around me are glistening under light.

They are me and I was them, some time back,

But now I am new and they enlighten my track.


Immense energy and boundless courage was taken, 

To break my old self, and to patiently listen. 

The voice from my heart and of my loved ones,

Insisting me to reform and at once get it done. 


Love and faith is what I must vision ahead, 

Fear and guilt, I must abandon. 

Accepting myself and my situation must be learned soon,

What awaits me ahead is a shimmering lovely full moon.

Copyright ©Vishal Raut 
 

Chaisng Dreams 

“​Wait for me”, I said to her like every time. 

“I will return soon this time”  I said.

She stared in my eyes and tries to reach my heart. 

My shivering soul,  hides deep in shame and despise. 

She knows,  I am lying like last time. 

She knows I am chasing my dreams abondoning her this time

Copyright ©Vishal Raut 

DEMON IN MY MIND 

          

Oh you demon siting in my head

Leave me alone for a moment. 

Enough of haunting and playing with your prey. 

Abandon me now atleast, don’t wait till peril. 


Your every evil intention has been fulfilled. 

My every aspiration  have been shattered. 

You have me and  I am left with nothing. 

Give up now and go away for hunting. 


Maya is your master, greed your weapon. 

Illusion is your trap in which we succumb so faster. 

Weak is my heart and fragile my dreams. 

You will never set me free, no matter how louder I scream.


Copyright ©Vishal Raut

Image : Google.