Copyright ©Vishal Raut
“Hi, how are you? Yes I am asking you. How have you been lately? Sorry I never bothered to ask you, about you”
‘Now you might be wondering, how the hell this happened? Why is he suddenly asking me, how I am? He knows how I am, he knows how I have been in past and in fact he will decide how I will be in future. Then why is he even bothering himself by asking me?’
‘Yes, I know you, yes I have been responsible for all that you have been till now and what you will be in future. Yes, you and me have been dwelling together in a same physical form, responsible for its performance and survival. But never have we existed as our self for each other. We have mostly never acknowledged our identity and understood the reason behind our purpose.
You are the heart, emotional, mushy, traumatic and the anxious one. I am the mind, rational, pragmatic, logical one. Yes most of the time I dominate you, very few keep the courage to follow you. I have more slaves than masters. You have dreams, aspirations, ambitions. I on the contrary have statistics, reality check and knowledge to back up with. Yes I am easy to follow and better to understand. You are the most complicated one. Never emotes anything clearly, never express anything vividly.
So my lovely colleague, yes I am your competitor, but believe me, I never had a choice for it. Choice is not with both of us. So rather than being stranger why can’t we be a good neighbor. Let the one who has the choice, decide, which house he or she want to dwell in’
Which house do you guys prefer to dwell in? Do share with me in my comments section.
Image – Google.
“How have been your journey so far, boy?” Asked the man standing right behind him in that crowded bus, hanging on the same rusty iron bar. His sweaty armpits where dripping on his shoulder and his groin rubbed unintentionally on his ass, whenever bus danced among the potholes. ‘Who was he? Why is he bothering me? I don’t even know him, but still he is asking me so much in detail. Fuck off’, he wanted to reply, but just couldn’t. That smiling face deserved respect. Lines on his forehead resembled with his father. Yes their thickness, length, all of it. It was almost the forehead of his father. Rest of the face had no resemblance at all with him. But so what, that was enough for him to bear him the entire journey.
It has been a year, he has left his home now. Not even bother to call once since then. Loss of his father, was a tragedy which changed him completely. Nothing in this world could take his place. What could he have done without him? He never imagined such a situation. For him he was there always. His every success, his every failure, his sickness, his pain all was shared with him. Now what? Loss of father, ensued with responsibility was to much for that child. So he decided to quit. Yes he did something which no one had taught him ever. His father specifically have never trained him to do so. Then from whom he learnt to quit?
Understanding the reasons for person’s behavior in a situation, essentially requires you to understand everything about that person, which except that person no one knows. So for that child, he had his reasons for his actions and that he was not willing to share it with anyone at all.
“So where are you going son”? This question dragged him back to reality. Staring at him blankly over his shoulder, he wondered what to say. “Last stop sir”, he replied and started looking forward, trying to avoid any further conversation.
So when the bus did stop at her last stop and when the only two men got away from her, he got cautious. Is he following me? What the fuck does he wants from me? What if he is some psychopath killer? Afraid and anxious he got down with him and started walking ahead. He knew no one in this town. He was just wandering and killing his time, doing odd jobs and changing places every now and then.
“Son why don’t you come and stay with me tonight”, once again the man offered him help. He was tired, refusing him. But this time he couldn’t resist it. His weakness and hunger overcame his fear and he agreed to go with him and started following him. ‘Fuck off’, he said to himself. ‘What if he kills me, I can be with my Pop again in heaven’.
After evening supper which was thoroughly enjoyed by the boy, he laid down on a bed made for him. While the boy was plunging in his deep slumber he heard the man say, “ Sleep my son, sleep here. Remember no matter what happens, never in life worry about anything at all. I will provide you all. You just focus on following the purpose of your life. Rest all will be taken care by me”
Same words, same sentence, how could it be? He went crazy, his father use to say him, same thing every night before he went asleep. But today after many days he had a full supper so he felt as if he was listening this in his dream or did the man say it. He was confused and instead of asking him he preferred sleeping in that warm quilt. ‘In morning I will ask him, who he is?’, he thought and slept.
Will he get a chance to ask him in morning?
Image – Google
Copyright ©Vishal Raut
First attempt in writing a short story.
It stays with you for long.
No matter how hard you try.
It insist, it persist you all time.
No matter how hard you resist.
They take over you, all of you.
Every nook and corner of yours.
Fill you up to the brim
Make you of same color and breed
Bad habits eventually turn from slave to master.
Make you do all that you don’t want to.
Strength is lost and so is Valor.
Laziness creep in you and you succumb.
Have you ever seen children’s dancing without music?? Yes even we adults do that but at very rare occasions when we are at the pinnacle of happiness or celebrating our achievements. But a child does it every now and then, that too without any reasons at all. They don’t need a reason to celebrate and neither music to dance. Their body started moving, following the rhythm of their heart in a splendid moment. They enjoy it so much and don’t give a damn of people or situations around them. Careless, fearless are some virtue which only a child enjoys a most. I have even seen some children walking in a rhythm, they don’t walk from one place to other, they either hop or dangle in their unique way following some beat or music which only they listen.
Yes we have a lot to learn from them. Many motivational speakers and self help books have very profoundly promoted the thought of keeping child in us alive. So I don’t have anything to say about it, but I would like to understand that exactly when did we, while growing up lost all that was required for us to enjoy our life. We were blessed with all that stuff by our creator rightfully but we like a idiot gave all that, to embrace something else which we thought is necessities for us to survive in this superficial world created by us.
Our creator gave us all that is required to enjoy our life with least resistance, but we humans complicated it so much that today we don’t find anything valuable and worthy if it is achieved easily. Placing blockade and making stuff difficult is our specialty as a human being. Remember all the scolding and punishment you got in a school for all those pranks you played. Punishing for mistakes is so right, but punishing for pranks, mischief, I think is not right. A mischievous child is expert in playing pranks and he every time innovates his own new ways of pranks. This skill of him can be guided, and pushed in right direction, but by punishing him for his pranks we try to make him afraid, and that fear gradually suppress his ability to innovate and enjoy.
Our society and norms of society, I wonder who must have made all this stuff that we are following so religiously. We have no question against it at all. Why are we doing this? Why we have to be here? Why do we have to do this at this age? I mean why should we do all this? Yes a human being is a social animal and we have to live in a society, follow a culture we are born in and stick to all traditions which are being followed from ages. It is unsaid compulsion imposed on every child born today by their parents. Yes a child don’t have that understanding to decide what is good and bad, so maybe family decides that, but is that child made aware that he or she can choose their own way, they have that right, when they became so call grown ups.
Yes we cannot blame anyone for loosing that child within us but when we become aware that how important he was for us to survive in this world, it becomes that difficult to revive him back to life. Shame, respect, religion, responsibility, customs, traditions and social norms they all then makes it impossible for us to bring that child back in us. Nothing around us helps us at all.
But friends, so what if we have lost our carefree and fearless friend, while growing up. We have to revive him now and enjoy this blissful life gifted to us. So what if there is no music playing in background, dance must go on.
When they arrives in my mind, they comes unwarned and unexpected and when I order them to go and leave me alone, they choose to stay back. Thoughts, what are they?? Sometimes they bless me with pleasure but most of the time they turn dreadful and curse me with anxiety.
“Always take care of your thoughts, because our emotions are slave to our thought and we are slave to our emotions.” I never controlled my thoughts till now. I never felt the necessity to do so. I was comfortable with them, until they started messing up my mind with all negative stuff. Yes people around me realized that and even tried to warn me, but I was so happy with my thinking mind that I considered them foolish. What is the use of this mind, if we don’t churn it continuously with our thoughts? My mind was working, I was turning pragmatic and had opinion about every stuff that happened around me, I thought it is fine to have opinion , even if it does not matter to me at all, because I am keeping my mind at work and I have no necessity to preserve it.
It was fine until people around me started getting frustrated with my harsh opinions and useless chatter, so when things went bad in my life and when I started facing disappointment, all I could think about was how it will get worse. My loved ones came to me and tried to guide me but all I could see or make them understand was how things will go worst. I started thinking of all the adversity that can happen in my life and started projecting it strongly around me and even started preparing for it, when nothing had happened at all. I was so busy in my preparation that I never realized that how far I had come from all those people whom I loved and cared the most. I never realized how much I had lost and how little I was left with in my life. My thinking mind never made me realize all this on the contrary it kept me busy in all negative and worthless thinking.
Now, when at last sun dawned on me and my sleeping consciousness, I understood that now I have to control this wild horse that I had set free for a long time. Taming him is going to be difficult but I was sure there are ways.
So I found some ways and I am even practicing it to improve my life and control my thoughts. You guys have any do let me know in my comments section.
Some people don’t understand the meaning of why such a feeling arises within them, when they really are not expecting it? Why do the have to suppress it, irrespective of what it says and what it means, why?
This state of dilemma slowly, gradually starts creating a void within them in which their happiness is lost and all they are left with is an empty silence which ultimately embrace the individual. It is just like a facade of a palace which looks beautiful under the shining sun but turns eerily in a horror site on dark nights.
So to know what it means and to learn from it, we all need to understand our life and convey her the meaning of being you with her.
Copyright © Vishal Raut