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Me and my life 

I started this blog with only one idea in my mind. I wanted to understand what exactly is blogging and how is it done. Wait, let me make one thing very clear, that I am not at all intretsed to make money by blogging but if ever I get the opportunity to earn, I have no issue with it.

So I choose this site which made my blog page very easily. But the very next question was what will I be blogging off ? I am presently living a mediocre life in a metro city of India. Striving hard to earn livelihood for myself and my family with hardly any adventure in my life. 

I do have some hobbies, which well are not so unique but very special to me. But then writing about them will not be so exiciting. So after thinking for a while I decided to write about life in general.

Life, I know is such a common word which we use daily thousand times in our communication. Boss shouts on your colleague in front of you, you patt his/her shoulder and say “it is part of a life don’t worry. “You don’t get a seat to sit in a metro while going back home when you are tired and need the most, you smirk and say to yourself “what a life.” You follow your favourite person on Instagram/Twitter and go through his daily post and pic, envy him and show them to your friends and say “he/she is truly living a splendour life.”

Life, we all celebrate, curse , envy, blame, spend, live every moment. We do all this in our life, with our life and never ever try to understand that all this is possible for us only because we are blessed with a Life.

So here I am, and I have decided to blog about Life, it can be anybody’s life, yours, mine anybody’s. I will in my subsequent blogs try to express various forms of a human life in every aspects of society within my country and place/society I get opportunity to live in with.

Thank you and do comments whatever you feel like and kindly tolerate my typo/grammatical errors if any.

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BAD HABITS 

It stays with you for long.  

No matter how hard you try. 

It insist, it persist you all time. 

No matter how hard you resist. 

They take over you, all of you. 

Every nook and corner of yours. 

Fill you up to the brim

Make you of same color and breed 

Bad habits eventually turn from slave to master. 

Make you do all that you don’t want to. 

Strength is lost and so is Valor. 

Laziness creep in you and you succumb.

©Vishal Raut 

Dance without music 

Have you ever seen children’s dancing without music?? Yes even we adults do that but at very rare occasions when we are at the pinnacle of happiness or celebrating our achievements. But a child does it every now and then, that too without any reasons at all. They don’t need a reason to celebrate and neither music to dance. Their body started moving,    following the rhythm of their heart in a splendid moment. They enjoy it so much and don’t give a damn of people or situations around them. Careless, fearless are some virtue which only a child enjoys a most. I have even seen some children walking in a rhythm, they don’t walk from one place to other, they either hop or dangle in their unique way following some beat or music which only they listen. 

Yes we have a lot to learn from them. Many motivational speakers and self help books have very profoundly promoted the thought of keeping child in us alive. So I don’t have anything to say about it, but I would like to understand that exactly when did we, while growing up lost all that was required for us to enjoy our life. We were blessed with all that stuff by our creator rightfully but we like a idiot gave all that, to embrace something else which we thought is necessities for us to survive in this superficial world created  by us. 

Our creator gave us all that is required to enjoy our  life with least resistance, but we humans complicated it so much that today we don’t find anything valuable and worthy if it is achieved easily. Placing blockade and making stuff difficult is our specialty as a human being. Remember all the scolding and punishment you got in a school for all those pranks you played. Punishing for mistakes is so right, but punishing for pranks, mischief, I think is not right. A mischievous child is expert in playing pranks and he every time innovates his own new ways of pranks. This skill of him can be guided, and pushed in right direction, but by punishing him for his pranks we try to make him afraid, and that fear gradually suppress his ability to innovate and enjoy. 

Our society and norms of society, I wonder who must have made all this stuff that we are following so religiously. We have no question against it at all. Why are we doing this? Why we have to be here? Why do we have to do this at this age? I mean why should we do all  this? Yes a human being is a social animal and we have to live in a society, follow a culture we are born in and stick to all traditions which are being followed from ages. It is unsaid compulsion imposed on every child born today by their parents. Yes a child don’t have that understanding to decide what is good and bad, so maybe family decides that, but is that child made aware that he or she can choose their own way, they have that right, when they became so call grown ups. 

Yes we cannot blame anyone for loosing that child within us but when we become aware that how important he was for us to survive in this world, it becomes that difficult to revive him back to life. Shame, respect, religion, responsibility, customs, traditions and social norms they all then makes it impossible for us to bring that child back in us. Nothing around us helps us at all. 

But friends,  so what if we have lost our carefree and fearless friend, while growing up. We have to revive him now and enjoy this blissful life gifted to us. So what if there is no music playing in background, dance must go on. 

Thoughtless Mind 

When they arrives in my mind, they comes unwarned and unexpected and when I order them to go and leave me alone, they choose to stay back. Thoughts, what are they?? Sometimes they bless me with pleasure but most of the time they turn dreadful and curse me with anxiety.

 “Always take care of your thoughts, because our emotions are slave to our thought and we are slave to our emotions.” I never controlled my thoughts till now. I never felt the necessity to do so. I was comfortable with them, until they started messing up my mind with all negative stuff. Yes people around me realized that and even tried to warn me, but I was so happy with my thinking mind that I considered them foolish. What is the use of this mind, if we don’t churn it continuously with our thoughts? My mind was working, I was turning pragmatic and had opinion about every stuff that happened around me, I thought it is fine to have opinion , even if it does not matter to me at all, because I am keeping my mind at work and I have no necessity to preserve it.

It was fine until people around me started getting frustrated with my harsh opinions and useless chatter, so when things went bad in my life and when I started facing disappointment, all I could think about was how it will get worse. My loved ones came to me and tried to guide me  but all I could see or make them understand was how things will go worst. I started thinking of all the adversity that can happen in my life and started projecting it strongly around me and even started preparing for it, when nothing had happened at all. I was so busy in my preparation that I never realized that how far I had come from all those people whom I loved and cared the most. I never realized how much I had lost and how little I was left with in my life. My thinking mind never made me realize all this on the contrary it kept me busy in all negative and worthless thinking.

Now, when at last sun dawned on me and my sleeping consciousness, I understood that now I have to control this wild horse that I had set free for a long time. Taming him is going to be difficult but I was sure there are ways.

So I found some ways and I am even practicing it to improve my life and control my thoughts.  You guys have any do let me know in my comments section.

VISHAL RAUT

Life Part – 2

Some people don’t understand the meaning of why such a feeling arises within them, when  they really are not expecting it? Why do the have to suppress it, irrespective of what it says and what it means, why? 

This state of dilemma slowly, gradually starts creating a void within them in which their happiness is lost and all they are left with is an empty silence which ultimately embrace the individual. It is just like a facade of a palace which looks beautiful under the shining sun but  turns eerily in a horror site on dark nights. 

So to know what it means and to learn from it, we all need to understand our life and convey her the meaning of being you with her. 

Copyright © Vishal Raut 

LIFE – Part 1

Life will pass by and so will my existence on this earth. But some questions will be there always.

Have I lived my life?

Have I completed the journey?

Have I achieved my purpose here?

Have all my desires and dreams fulfilled here?

Existing as a small speck in this world, will I someday witness the glory of my life?

Will I witness my destiny one day?
Copyright ©VISHAL RAUT

His New Identity 

It was very fine for me, dad not talking with me, still fuming with rage because of my recent confrontation,  mother busy in her daily morning chores completely unaware of our presence. This has been normal for us recently. We lived under one roof and shared many good memories here till now, but situation has changed us all, for good I hope. Now we three of us have created our own dimension in our home and are dwelling in it without disturbing each other. A three dimensions of three individuals in a three dimensional home of ours

Excitement, passion for life and hunger for success are my father’s proud qualities. Calm, gentle and caring are features of my mother which obviously are or most of mothers in this world. I on the contrary never possessed any of this. Love, yes I had immense for them, but compassion and care was absent. Respect was there but thick void space existed between me and them.

No it was not their upbringing to blame for my situations nor did they ever mistreated or abused me. They are ideal parents, who always gave me and my requirements priority. It was me who was failing them, I was not like them at all. Not even a speck of mine represented an ounce of them. They realized this very late but I knew it much earlier.

I hided it from them as long as I can, I even tried to change or rather go against the nature to be as per their expectations, but I failed miserably every time.

My truth dawned on me gradually and I confessed it to them after lot of persuasion by my heart to me, and from that day onwards till today it has been very difficult for them to accept me as I am. Efforts from them are there, they know they can’t abandon me or I think love for me is upholding them from not giving up.

Love which have bounded three diverse people like us together and has strengthen us for so long will be required now abundantly. It has to make my mother understand that her son is not normal, but still it is her son who loves her and asks nothing but love in return. It has to weaken my  father’s pride and ego  and strengthen his heart to expect me as I am, because I am not the son he wanted but maybe I am better in other ways. My love for him is unconditional and so must be his love for me.

Yes my parents, I am a gay and this is what I can’t hide nor lie to you. Life, yes I love you a lot and would like to spend with you both. 

Some reality of our society scripted by me. PURE FICTIONAL. Do comment your opinions. 

VISHAL RAUT 

Image – Google 

Moments 

What is waiting ahead of this moment, I am pondering.

What I have in this moment, I am wondering.

Moments pass, every moment, when I think.

Moments pass,  every moment, when I worry.
What I have? what will I have? when will I have? how will I have?

So much I think  in this tiny moments.

Made me loose my all opportunities in this tiny moments.

Made me loose my all relations in this tiny moments. 
All sum up to none, but a lost moment

All end up with nothing, but a lost present. 

So why should I waste this moment, 

When I can have  everything or loose nothing in this moment. 
Copyright © Vishal Raut